Monday, November 18, 2019
If youre not changing as a person then youre not intelligent
If youâre not changing as a person then youâre not intelligent If youâre not changing as a person then youâre not intelligent If youâre not changing, youâre not growing. If youâre not growing, youâre not being intelligent. Humans thrive in change and expansion - yet there can be so many internal or external blocks to change.Trying to keep things as they are is a very unhealthy approach to life. Avoiding change reflects a misunderstanding of the human condition and human flourishing. Change is not to be avoided, but embraced. Said Winston Churchill:âTo improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.â- - - How much have you changed in the past 12 months? How much have you changed in the past 5 years (60 months)? What new challenges are you taking on? What new books have you read that have completely changed your paradigm? What new relationships and experiences have opened you to new worlds of possibilities? What suppressed pain and trauma have you freed yourself from? What bad habits have you finally given up? What relationships have you healed or let go of? What addictions are still stopping you from living your dreams? What roles or âpersonalityâ are you still clinging to?The extreme importance of the parent-child connectionâThe parent-child connection is the most powerful mental health intervention known to mankind.â - Bessel van der KolkIn the profound and life-changing book, The Body Keeps The Score, Bessel van der Kolk M.D. explains that suppressed emotions and trauma lead people to unhealthy and addictive cycles.One of the most fundamental components of making positive change in your life is developing a healthy relationship with your parents - whether they are alive or not.All parent-child relationships have some form of baggage because no parent is perfect. Every parent has their own problems and through those problems they raise their kids.It is then the kidâs responsibility to eventually evolve beyond the deficiencies of their parents. Any good parent would want this for their children: to go beyond where they themselves were.Parents must be fully forgiven and viewed in a lovi ng, appreciative, and honorable light. No matter how flawed. This doesnât mean you must maintain a ârelationshipâ if your parents are heavily abusive or toxic, as is the case of my three recently adopted children. However, if you neglect that relationship and canât openly discuss it, it will come back to you later in life. Even if just at the emotional-level, this relationship is very important to your ability to make desired transformations.Your relationship with your own body (and food)âWhen a man makes his thoughts pure, he no longer desires impure food.â - James AllenDoes your body control you, or do you control your body? For most people, the body is completely in control. Want a gut-check about whether youâre in control or if your body is? How often do you impulsively check your smart-phone? How often do you impulsively eat or put other substances in your body? How is your ability to focus for long periods of time? How in-tune are you with your own intuition? How much time do you spend thinking about your physical appearance? How much time do you spend worrying about the opinions of others? If you donât control your body, then you canât control your mind. If you donât control your body, then you canât control your time. If you donât control your body, then youâre life is far more impulsive and out-of-control than you realize. âIf the spirit yields to the body, it becomes corrupt; but if the body yields to the spirit it becomes pure and holy.â - Brigham YoungOne of the most basic and well-tested methods for regaining control of your mind and body is through fasting. There are many different forms, such as water fasting where you only drink water and donât consume food of any kind for a period of time (often 1â"3 days). Thereâs juice fasting and bone broth fasting (often 1â"10 days) where you only consume liquids for a period of time to allow your digestive system to rest, recover, and reset.You can also fast from technology - something most people havenât done since the internet.Youâll also want to fast from routine environments. Most of your triggers and memories - and thus identity - are tied to places and environments. When you get out and see new things, you open yourself to new insights and experiences which open you up.While fasting, youâll begin to get a ton of insight. Youâll start to realize how reactive youâve been to the environment. Youâll start to notice how off youâve been. Youâll then have more clarity and capability to shift your life in a positive direction.Education through reading and experienceâYou will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.â - Charlie Tremendous Jones âEducation is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.â - Nelson Mandela âWhere is the life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?â - T.S. ElliotIn a powerful lecture on how our brains change through experience, Neuroscientist Dr. Dafna Shohamy explains that our brains assimilate information for the purpose of prediction.Being able to predict how our behavior will lead to outcomes is one of the most important goals of our brains. For example, when you touch the stove as a child, you experience what is known as a âprediction errorâ - which according to Dr. Shohamy is a learning signal to update your expectations for the next time.Prediction errors are exactly what you want to experience more of ⦠if you want a lifetime of growth.This is why failure is such a key part of success. Failure is what occurs when you incorrectly predict how things will go based on your limited knowledge. Because you experience failure or prediction error, you can then update your expe ctations and strategies for the next attempt.This is what growth and innovation are all about. Thomas Edison embraced prediction error. He embraced his own mental and experiential boundaries. He was willing to fail over and over and over because for him - failure was about learning. It was about changing and expanding himself. To quote Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., âA mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.âThomas Edison had to update and refine himself constantly to become the man he became. His failures and experiences transformed to wisdom and understanding. Intelligence is applied understanding. Itâs far more powerful than base knowledge. There are lots of people who have information in their heads. But wisdom and intelligence is the proper application of knowledge.Interestingly, there is lots of research showing that as people age, they generally become LESS open to education. They become LESS open to new experiences.As people ge t older, they really want their lives to be predictable. In order to keep their lives predictable, they donât embrace new information, new experiences, new challenges, new relationships. Their life increasingly becomes an echo-chamber.If youâre not proactively seeking new experiences and learning new information, youâre stuck. If youâre stuck, youâre not growing and changing. And if youâre not changing, then youâre not intelligent. As C. JoyBell C. put it:âThe only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.âChange yourself and youâll change the worldâBe the change that you wish to see in the world.â - Mahatma Gandhi âYesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.â - Rumi âSuccess is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become.â - Jim RohnIf youâre not changing yourself, then youâre not intelligent.If youâre seeking external success without changing who you are, then youâre delusional.If youâre trying to make a powerful change in the world without changing yourself, then youâre simply trying to force the world into your box.When you begin changing yourself, youâll be equipped to change the world.If you seek to change the world, youâll be required to change yourself.If youâre truly committed to something or someone, youâll be required to become whatever that commitment entails.If you sufficiently transform yourself, you wonât be able to stop yourself from helping others positively transform as well.Changed people change the world. They light a fire in others because they are on fire themselves.Measure the gain instead of the gap!âThe way to measure your progress is backward against where you started, not against your ideal.â - Dan Sullivan, THE GAIN AND THE GAP How much have you changed in the past 12 months? How much have you changed in the past 5 years?According to Strategic Coach founder, Dan Sullivan, itâs far more powerful to measure the gains youâve made than the gap in front of you.If you look back on the past 1â"5 years and truly consider how much youâve grown and changed, youâll be stunned.If youâre proactively seeking change and transformation, youâve probably made HUGE changes. You can actually make enormous change in yourself in a relatively small period of time.1â"5 years is a short period of time. In that amount of time, you can go from making almost nothing to making millions of dollars. You can go from being single and having no kids to being married and having three kids with two on the way (thatâs what happened to me!).If youâre not growing, youâre not changing. If youâre not changing, then youâre not intelligent.Itâs very important that you take time to examine and measure where you are from where youâve been. When you do this, there are a ho st of psychological benefits.For example, measuring your progress injects enormous amounts of gratitude and appreciation into your life. Gratitude is one of the most powerful psychological experiences and relates to improvements in all areas of life.When you measure your progress, you grow in confidence because confidence is a byproduct of past experience.According to Sullivan:Your future growth and progress are now based in your understanding about the difference between the two ways in which you can measure yourself: against the ideal, which puts you in what I call âThe Gap,â and against your starting point, which puts you in âThe Gain,â appreciating all that youâve accomplished. When youâre in The Gap, you feel as though you havenât accomplished anything at all. This is because even though youâve moved forward, the ideal remains distant from you. The ideal is a moving target. It might even get bigger, leaving you worse off than where you started if you measure against it. Youâve also used up time and energy getting to where you are, so if you donât measure the progress, youâll feel like youâve wasted that time and energy and have fallen even further behind. But if you turn around and measure your progress against where you started, then youâre in The Gain, and youâll experience a sense of having moved forward, of having achieved something, and youâll be motivated to continue on to your next stage of growth.ConclusionAre you intelligent and changing? Or are you unintelligent and staying the same? Are you being transformed through new experiences? Are you being transformed by taking on new roles? Are you being changed as you grow into powerful goals? Do you have a vision and a mission that compels you to become far more than you currently are?Make a change today. The moment you even make a small change in the right direction, youâll begin to experience a flood of motivation, energy, and momentum.As you continue to change, your mind will expand allowing greater insights and epiphanies to flow.This life is a classroom. If youâre not learning, growing, and changing, then youâre missing the point.Ready to upgrade?Iâve created a cheat sheet for putting yourself into a PEAK-STATE, immediately. You follow this daily, your life will change very quickly.Get the cheat sheet here!This post first appeared on Medium.
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